Monday, May 28, 2012

Sisfurcat Chilipepper - My Life So Far

They call me grumpy old sisfurcat Chilipepper.

I was 15 years old on May 6, 2012. That's my real birthday. We know because my mama was feral and Leslie's friend put a box out for her to use for her kittens. Cats are pragmatic, so my mama had my brofur Mr. Spooky and me - the runt of the litter - and four more little black squeaks right there in the box. My mama knew the human fed her and loved cats and could keep her babies safe while she hunted. Leslie brought Spooky and me here.

For the first few days we didn't like this whole indoor thing at all. We hid behind the toilet, hissing at anyone who got near. One day Leslie was using the kitty-eater machine and the loud roar was so terrible that I ran out and attacked it. "Well aren't you a little chili pepper!" she said and that's how I got my name. Spooky stayed hidden and that's how he got his name.

Later in the year some assholes trapped my mama and euthanized her. Leslie was furious. Feral cats do NOT need to be helped to "escape an uncaring world". HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Chilipepper and her brofurcat Spooky 1997. on Twitpic
Me and my brofurcat Mr. Spooky as tiny kittens in 1997.

Spooky and I were so sweet, even when we were fighting. Mr. Spooky took care of me, scanning the yard and the field beyond for monsters before we went out, and he NEVER let me leave the yard.

Mr. Spooky and Miss Chilipepper 1998 on Twitpic
This is Mr. Spooky and me hanging out on the sofa in 1998 when we were about a year old. He had a kangaroo tail!

The last time I saw my dear brofur he was very sick. I caught the biggest vole I could find and gave it to him, partly to show him I'd be okay. Later that day Leslie took him away in the car and he didn't come home.

Mr. Spooky went OTRB in 1999 from intracranial myiasis caused by larval Cuterebra. I highly discourage the sensitive from googling that. He spent several days in the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine (VHUP) Neurology/Neurosurgery getting an experimental treatment, then came home, then got sick again and had to be euthanized. Leslie let the neurology department keep his little body. They have since perfected the treatment thanks to Spooky and others. Note: if your young, healthy cat has what seems to be a stroke in August through September, this might be the problem.

Two months later someone brought a little grey stripeybeast with white face and paws to the house and for some reason Leslie let it stay. The stripeybeast kept grabbing my tail and pouncing me and being generally irritating. I tolerated her for a long time. One time she was yowling as Leslie trimmed her claws so I popped up and twocked her to be quiet. After that she didn't torment me so much. The stripeybeast is @sisfurcats Bugs Bunny.

A few weeks later I thought maybe my brofur Spooky had simply gotten lost and I went on walkabout looking for him. Unfortunately climbing around in the forest snagged my collar in my armpit and cut right to the bone. I hid in the underbrush for days. I could hear Leslie calling me and she even walked right by me but I was in such a bad place that I didn't answer. On the ninth day I decided to go home. My armpit healed up ok, but I didn't talk for several months.

The next summer I saw my brofur Spooky walking across the field. I was overjoyed to see him! I ran out and gave him a nosetap. Except it wasn't my dear brofur, it was some stranger. I gave him a good hissing!

In 2000 Leslie learned reiki and I suddenly realized that humans' laps are very comfortable. Leslie even attuned me!

In 2002 I had a serious medical emergency. One morning when I woke up and dragged myself to the food bowl something didn't seem quite right. My back end was paralyzed! Leslie drove me down to University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine (VHUP) Neurology/Neurosurgery, doing reiki on me all the way there. The emergency vet drilled a hole in my skull to let the evil spirits out. I was in vhosp for several days. The nice vets there gave me lots of attention and helped cure me. I could walk again but I still have some pain and my bumper is weak.

I don't take shit from anybody.

Leslie loves me no matter what I do. She gives me brushings and I shake paws with her. I can't catch mice the way I used to but I still like to hang out in the garden with Leslie. I love to follow the sunbeams, letting the sun warm my bones. I love tuna sashimi and raw tenderloin steak and Leslie always shares!

Chilipepper enjoying the spring sunshine. on Twitpic
I have a good life here.

In 2007 a little black boycat followed sisfurcat Bugs home. He kind of looked like my dear brofurcat Spooky. When they brought him in I hissed him around the house to show him who's boss. Mr. Breeze and I get along quite well. I feel much more spry now that he is my personal trainer.

Note: Sometimes when I say Leslie in this post I really mean the man who lives here. I'm not allowed to say his name on the innerwebs.